Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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