Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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