yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
