Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
