D3 body, D1 cock
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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