I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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