I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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