I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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