your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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