you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I touched a dick in church today
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
