Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
