Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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