OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize