my mouth tastes like poor choices
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
