And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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