it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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