Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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