I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
