There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
