Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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