You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize