I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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