she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
