Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
