I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
