I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we're making bets on your personal life
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
