I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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