Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
