Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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