I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
