I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
