He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
