dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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