He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
