That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
