i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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