I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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