i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
