marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
