So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this just has baby written all over it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I fill condoms, not promises.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
