Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I FOUND THE LEGS
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
