My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
