all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
