i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize