I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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