Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
