I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When are your genitals available?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
