yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
