My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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