my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
