Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
