just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
