STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
