This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She needs sedatives and a leash
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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