so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
one two three fourrrrnication!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
