you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
