i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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