Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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